Avoid Self Neglect - Planner it!

-

In the past year and a half I have really been neglecting myself. I worked way too much and was so exhausted I could barely stay afloat. People would tell me "welcome to the real world". Full time job, buying groceries, making healthy meals, paying bills, cleaning the apartment, exercising, were all so new to me. I would keep on pushing myself because I thought that this was what being an adult what supposed to feel like. WRONG. There is no "supposed to feel". I am on my way to accepting this and honestly, my ADHD diagnosis has really helped me to take a huge leap onto that path.

How am I going to overcome the self-neglect? First of all how am I going to spin "overcome self-neglect" positively? I am going to call it. "Practice Self Care". I'm still not happy with the words, I don't think that "Self Care" has a fun ring to it. Maybe I will come up with something else by the time I finish writing this blog.  

I do not have a job, I do not have a boyfriend, I do not have children or other responsibilities. I don't really have too much that is taking up my time. This is ALYSSA TIME! My goal is to put a system in place for myself so that when I do meet that guy that totally encompasses me and eats up all my thoughts and time, I will be able to take a step back and remember "what about you". Same goes for a job; when I get overwhelmed by preparing myself a lunch, breakfast, getting ready and exercising all before starting work, I will be ok because I have a plan! Also, what about when I have kids?! How will I remember to take care of myself when they are pulling at my heart strings?! I tend to give way more time and energy than I receive/should. That is who I am and what I do but I'm starting to realize that it may not be totally healthy. This is a huge learning curve for me and I have a plan to manage it all!

I have constructed myself a system:

1. Component number one: I created a daily planner (on canva) to help me stay on track while I wait for another planner to arrive in the mail. This is what my temporary planner looks like (pretend like there aren't two 8ams haha):



 I am really excited about this planner because it has a full day schedule. This allows me to block time slots in my day so that I can have a clear picture of how much time I do (or don't) have! There is also a spot in each day where I will write what I will have for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks! I have noticed lately that planning meals and snacks guzzles a lot of my time and planning ahead will solve that! I have a very long list of projects and to-dos. The I would like to accomplish section allows me to set realistic goals for myself.
2. Component number two. I created several lists: 
  • I would like to accomplish Daily (moisturize, exercise, floss, work on a project/TO DO, etc.)    
  • I would like to accomplish Every 2-3 days (paint nails, face mask, exfoliate)
  • I would like to accomplish Once a week (relax and take a bath, plan meals for week, laundry) 
  • I would like to accomplish Every two weeks (support group, try a new recipe, plan to see friends)
  • I would like to accomplish Once a month (try a new wine, buy a new book to learn, write a letter, go to a new bar, see a movie in the theatre, paint nite, go to thrift shop, board game night, a puzzle, a page from my adult coloring book, small getaway, etc.) 
  • I would like to accomplish Once a year (go on a trip)
There are some items on these lists that require a time limit. I am going to start to time myself during this upcoming week to see how long certain tasks take me. Example: shower. During my 26 years of living I have yet to figure out how long it takes me to shower! So timing how long it takes me to shower (several times so I can get an average) will enable me to better schedule my time. I will be able to schedule shower: 20 minutes on my planner. And since I know that my weakness is time, when I am in the shower I will also have a timer so that I will be able to stay on schedule! 

I feel so silly that I have to create these lists for myself to "call my friend" or "plan fun activities". Last week I was so busy planning our first meeting for the support group that I didn't plan anything fun or do anything for myself! This left me a little down in the dumps and lonely this past weekend. Well, no more down in the dumps and loneliness for me now that I have my trusty lists! 

These lists enable me to:
a) Figure out what is important to me.
b) Make sure that I schedule time for self care, spending time with those who matter to me, and last but not least, the extra fun stuff: try new things, going on adventures andddd learning! :)

How do you make sure that you take the time for self care?


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

She's Not Just A Pretty Face

-
Image
Thanks for the insipration, Shania! And for just being an amazing person in general <3 After I figured out that I have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria I really started to question all of my motives. Am I doing this because I am scared of rejection and the pain associated with it? Let me just give you a little background of what Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is. During the Women's Palooza last week I listened to an AMAZING webinar called "Shame and Fear of Rejection" with Bill Dodson. The key points from the webinar as to what Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is: Dysphoria means unbearable. People with RSD perceive or anticipate that they have disappointed someone. We feel intense pain; intense, unbearable pain. --> This leads to shame and bad self-esteem Shame. This is "the master emotion". Shame is what holds you back and isolates you. It prevents you from getting help. We see ourselves in the reactions of other people. People are constantl
Read more

To Do Lists vs Projects

-
I recently listened to a webinar by Susan Lasky called "How to Get More Done with a Lot Less Stress!" from Additudemag.com. The take home message that I got was really an "aha moment" for me; there is a huge difference between To Do Lists and Projects!! When starting new projects/tasks, especially since it is the New Year and it's the season for these things, I am going to keep in mind the difference between a project and a to do list. I always have tons of new ideas that would really be considered a project which I would mark down in my planner as a "to do". I tend to get really upset with myself when I don't complete projects. Now I know that I have essentially set myself up to fail since projects really consist of many to dos.  The solution: I need to break down each project into all the mini to-dos in order to complete them!  Just in the past few days I have two new ideas: 1. I found a Murder Mystery Game in my basement that i bought
Read more

5 Things I Learnt from my Doctor Visit

-
Image
So today I went to the doctor for the second time after my diagnosis. The first time I went to the doctor after I was diagnosed (two months ago), we briefly spoke about how ADHD medication could be helpful and that I should go for a blood test. I knew that I didn't want medication at the time and she wasn't willing to begin to try me on ADHD medications before receiving a paper confirming my diagnosis. Let me give you a little back story. I had a doctor in the West Island after I left my paediatrician. He is an older man and he was my grandparents doctor, my parents doctor and naturally he became my doctor. He was helping me with my anxiety. I still knew that there was something "off" and I was trying to get to the bottom of it. At one point I even mentioned ADHD. I remember telling him that I would walk from room to room in my house forgetting what I was doing. He told me that was normal, and that ADHD was a fad. Naturally, I believed him. He is my doctor after a
Read more

Chat with an Amazing Person/Coach!

-
Image
I really love meeting with people that are on the same wavelength as me. Lately I feel like it's been happening a lot and it's amazing! Today I met with Monica Karam , who is a spirituality and clarity coach! Here are some of the take-home messages I got from our talk: My life GPS. These are basically my 5 core beliefs. Every time I am going to do anything I need to stop and ask myself does this "thing" reach all of the pit stops or attractions that I want to hit along my route, along my journey? It can also be seen as an adventure which is much more exciting because life is an adventure! When I go on this adventure, I will bring my GPS and I will make sure that I am hitting all of my pit stops. This is my road called Emotional Health; all of these pit stops will help me to obtain my end goal of self-expression. I will be true to who I am! <3 1- Self Care . I have already written a blog post about this so I'm going to save us all the boredom o
Read more

Skills not pills

-
Image
I am so happy, excited and proud of myself! I did it! I created a support group in the West Island of Montreal!  Last night was our first meeting and I think that it went really well! It was so nice to be surrounded by like-minded individuals and I am so excited to learn from them and share my personal experience! :) I know that this is a pretty controversial topic. To medicate or not to medicate ? It's been two months since I was officially diagnosed (I accidentally wrote medicated ahah, my ADHD brain) and to be honest I am pretty freaked out by medication. I can't wrap my head around being on mediation for the rest of my life to help manage my brain. For that reason I have given myself some time to learn skills that I can use to help harness and use my ADHD strengths. Anyways, the reason why I decided to write about this was because the speaker last night said: "Skills not Pills" I think that this is one side of the medication debate but I do agree tha
Read more

Habits

-
My ADHD diagnosis has been the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. So many random little things that have always bothered me about myself now make sense. I also have accepted that doing things/getting things done is BIOLOGICALLY harder for me and it is ok if I need to follow an app on my phone that is a timer/list to get pretty basic human things like having a shower done in the morning. Over the past month I have slowly been making small little changes that have been adding up to BIG CHANGES in my life! 1. Leaving my phone in the bathroom when I go to sleep.   This may sound silly but it is HUGE. I used to lie in bed before going to sleep and check Facebook and Instagram on a continuous loop for no reason. Same thing goes for when I wake up in the morning. I would either fall back asleep with my phone in my hand while "snoozing" or I would pick up my phone and do the continuous social media loop for, I kid you not, up to an hour. What a time waster!
Read more

Why is Depression such a big, scary word?

-
Image
I have had anxiety my whole life and was also treated for it. Now that I have recognized depression in myself, I can also say that I have experienced that too. I throw the word anxiety around like I would with any other word. Why is the word "depression" so terrible. The reaction that I get if I say depression out loud is as if I have struck them across the face. They are SO taken aback. My hunch is that people do not understand depression. I definitely don't. This year was the first time that depression wrapped itself around me like a big, dark, heavy, unwelcome blanket. I had two days in a row where I was crying hysterically for NO REASON. Now it is a little comical, but at the time it was insanely scary and I honestly felt a little bit insane. Depression feels like your body goes: 1. Commencing Override 2. Shutdown complete 3. Initiating release mechanism 4. And cry and cry and cry and cry I have to admit that, for me,  this only lasts for a day or two.
Read more